Black’s Original Lifestory

 Posted by on July 8, 2013  Add comments
Jul 082013

You know how every kid has a dream? Ask a kid what he wants to be when he grows up and you’ll get all sorts of answers. “I wanna be an astronaut and fly to space!”, “I wanna be a singer and be admired!”, “I wanna be a fearsome cowboy!”, “I wanna be a lobster with huge pincers!”.

“I wanna be RICH!!” was all Dominik Reitmeier ever said when asked about his future. That was his life’s aspiration. Growing up, he always tried to find ways to get richer. When he was in kindergarten, he used to pick up pine cones from the ground and give them to the other children in exchange for their food. In grade school, when all the other kids were joyfully playing with their Pokemon cards, Dominik just sold all his good cards to his classmates and threw away the ones that were worth nothing. He bought football player stickers for 1 euro per 5-pack and then sold each sticker for 1 euro to make profit. By the age of 14, he had already sold all his childish possessions; toys, clothes, fairytale books. He took advantage of his peers’ teenage sexual curiosity by stealing porn magazines and videotapes to sell them to his classmates at ridiculous prices. He had become a smut peddler without even knowing it, all for the sake of getting rich. He had also let his hair grow for 2 years, then he went to a hair salon, had a haircut and sold his hair for wigs. He had also found a new found love for 50 Cent, not only because of his name (which is directly related to money), but mostly because of his album’s name, ‘Get Rich or Die Tryin’’.

He even found a summer job; he worked in his uncle’s farm, digging, shoveling, planting. His favorite part of the job was carrying craters and boxes and whatnot and transferring them around the farm. It was a rough job for a 15 year old, but his uncle paid him well and money was all he cared for. Apart from that, he did enjoy the feeling of carrying stuff.

Summer ended soon though, and he had to go back to school. One day, in history class, his teacher was ranting on about the medieval times, while Dominik was busy thinking of ways to come up with more money. He was contemplating letting his hair grow again, when suddenly something his teacher said caught his attention. Something about very rich people who had everyone working for them. Dominik jumped up from his chair.
“TEACHER!! In which page can I find the story of the men who were rich?”

“What, the feudal lords?”
“Were they the ones who were rich?”
“Yes, the feudal lords. What page?”
“Page 42. You should pay more attention during class.”

Dominik said nothing, he just turned his book to page 42 and started reading all about feudalism and feudal lords. He felt as if in that page, in page 42, he had found his life’s meaning. These men were brilliant; they held the land and gave it to people to work in, then took a big part of their income. They made money and were at the top of the social ladder without even working! This was too much for his poor, teenage brain to comprehend. He roared, threw his desk on the floor and ran out the classroom. He rode a bus to the train station, then got on the first train that was headed towards his uncle’s farm.

A few hours later, he found his uncle working on the field. He ran at him, book in hand open to page 42.
“Uncle! Uncle! I found a way to get rich with your farm! We will have people work for us and then take their income!”

His uncle frowned at Dominik, read the page briefly, then frowned some more.

“This is not how things work in society now, Dominik. Feudalism does not exist anymore for a good reason. It was an unethical and corrupted system. A young man like you should not care so much about money, you know that? Your whole life is all about money.”

“But money is all that is important! What else can I do?”
His uncle scratched his beard. “Have you ever played DotA? It’s a fun, addicting game that gets your mind off of anything.”

Before long, Dominik was back at his house, installing DotA on his computer. He played all day and all night, trying to get the grip of it. At first he was called a noob, but within a few days he was winning games by himself. After one week, he rarely ever missed a last hit. He had a natural talent at finding gold all over the map and getting ahead of everyone. Inside DotA, he fulfilled his dream of getting filthy rich in any way he could. However, his teammates sometimes prevented him from getting gold, and then he shouted and yelled and raged.

One day, he had an idea. What if he found 4 people to play with and have them secure his farm? He could be sort of like a feudal lord. The other 4 would work for him so he can get rich. Eventually, he would become well-known inside the community as one of the best gold farmers in the world and get money out of it by competing in tournaments. He would be rich in game and in real life! Yes, his plan was marvelous!


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  One Response to “Black’s Original Lifestory”

  1. Once u go black, u’ll never go back ;D